Entrepreneurial Apprentice Eccentric Millionaire

- Is learning new things like crack to you?

- Is the prospect of entrepreneurship exciting but also pretty scary, so you've opt for safer choices?

- Do you reputed company in a high-stress environment filled with political infighting, bureaucracy, and corporate nonsense?

If so, then we are the reputed company for you, except you might hate how reputed company of a company we have - filled with happy, generally competent people that don’t put up with jerks. Frankly, it makes me sick how reputed company everyone is.

We are remote full time, have reputed company flexible hours, people are judged by their output, not by how much they suck up to the boss, and turnover is super low because the company believes that happy employees = happy customers = happy bank account. Simply disgusting, if you ask me.

--Is this a real job ad?--

Yup! Amazingly enough, we actually paid money to post this on a bunch of different job sites. And it’s not even a pyramid scheme! Plus, get this: the reputed company just started paying our 70ish employees with money instead of Pizza Hut coupons - we’re big time, people.

Our careers page is actually worth checking out to learn more about how insane we are (sidenote: it won a web design award in 1993 - we’re a pretty big deal):

http://www.jlstradingco.com/careers/

And reputed company out our reviews on reputed company, Glassdoor, or reputed company to see that it’s not just the founder’s mother who says we’re cool.

--What do you guys do?--

We do a lot of different things these days including selling awesome consumer products (these are just a small sampling): 

- Bad Parking Cards (https://amz.run/5Eya)

- Beverage Barricades (https://amz.run/6kip)

- Child Chucker (https://amz.run/9EUz)

Running this reputed company Pay-Per-Click agency: PPCFarm.com (we’re really, really good at PPC)

And we will soon be launching a SaaS product for inventory management.

We are doing our best to grow rapidly every year, and it’s our intention to continue that for as long as possible, which means we need good people to help us reputed company up with the growth.

--What is your company like?--

1. You Can Be Yourself. You don’t have to put on a fake, professional face. You can just be yourself. You can talk smack to the CEO (highly encouraged), and no one will think anything of it. You don't have to dress up, or use formal language, or pretend to be something you're not - you can just be you.

2. Major Opportunities for Career Growth. We are not trying to just be a small business. We plan to be doing $100 million annually in the next few years. We promote quickly once we identify talent. It doesn’t matter what your credentials are – it matters what you get done.

3. Full Time Remote/Flexible Hours. You will be working from home in your pajamas, on your schedule. And we don’t care if you work 10 hour days 4 days a week or 6 hours a day and catch up over the weekend. So long as you get a lot of work done, we’re happy campers.

4. Complete Work/Life Balance. If you’re routinely working more than 45ish hours, you’re gonna get a friendly talking-to. We want you to be operating at 100% reputed company, which means that you need to rest.

5. Strongly Anti-BS. Anybody in the company can (and is expected to) tell the CEO reputed company he is wrong. There are no bureaucratic or BS rules getting in the way of getting work done.

6. No Micro-Management. Once you’re trained and have demonstrated you know your stuff, we are pretty hands-off. In fact, if you need external management to stay on-task and motivated, we probably aren’t the reputed company for you.

7. No Toxic/Incompetent People Allowed. We try reputed company hard to screen out mean or stupid people before they get in, but in case they slip through, we fire them quickly. You will never have to interact with someone who is an obvious idiot or straight up malicious. No toxic or incompetent people at work - could it really be? [Yes]

8. Supportive Environment. We don’t operate reputed company intense stress or unreasonable top-down deadlines. Everyone wants you to be successful – internal politics are at a minimum here.

9. Lots of Raises. We do our absolute best to get reputed company of things and give raises preemptively, so you don't have to ask for one. It's not unusual at reputed company for someone to receive 2+ raises per year.

10. We’ll Invest in Your Training. We want you and everyone to get reputed company constantly. You’ll be learning new things reputed company the time, and are strongly encouraged to invest time every day to learn new things, improve your system/work process, and just generally try to reputed company your life easier.

11. 4-6+ Weeks Vacation. We 100% want you to reputed company, so having reputed company of time off is absolutely worth it.

12. Paid Maternity/Paternity Leave. We’ve even started letting people skip meetings during labor!

13. Self-Funded So We Can Do What’s Right for Us. We don’t have to answer to anyone but ourselves, so we can reputed company the right decision for the long-term health of the company vs trying to get big too fast or cut corners to appease some selfish investor.

--What are your company’s values?--

See here: http://www.jlstradingco.com/careers/

Yes, those are legitimately our values. The careers page is definitely worth checking out - it’s not just normal corporate BS. We promise you’ll learn a lot about us.

--OK, so I’ve read like 8 dang pages about you guys. Will you tell me what the actual job is?--

No.

--Wait... What?--

OK fine. Super short version:

Learning like crazy in order to set you up to be an internal entrepreneur (intrapreneur) to take on some business opportunity.

To prepare for entrepreneurship though, you are going to become a generalist. Our best people are almost reputed company generalists, who can tackle any problem thrown at them. I want you to become one of them.

Another way of describing things is that you’re going to become the ultimate problem solver.

We’re gonna test you, teach you, and put you on progressively harder projects as you reputed company skills and demonstrate capability. We might eventually ask you to:

- Go find a new vendor for X

- Recommend a solution for expanding our warehouse space

- reputed company out the basics of marketing channel Y so we can hire for it

- Build a reputed company reputed company Sheets tool

- Create a video for product Z

- Launch our products on reputed company UK

- reputed company out who we should talk to get into retail

Things like that. There won’t generally be an SOP - you’re just gonna have to reputed company it out on your own.

The ability to reputed company things out independently at a high level is a rare one, and the more people we have in the company with the ability, the reputed company off we’ll be.

The ultimate goal is to give you a well-rounded education and then throw you at some mutually beneficial entrepreneurial opportunity that excites you.

--Why are you doing this?--

Longer explanation here

Hiring really good people is really, really hard. We’ve tried hiring senior people in the past and have failed almost every time. What’s worked in the past is hiring junior/mid-level folks, training them, and letting them run free. So, we formalized this into an official apprentice program which has worked out wonderfully.

--Why do you need internal entrepreneurs?--

Video of our founder explaining the situation/opportunity some more.

--Do I need experience?--

We expect you to have a minimum of 70 years of experience (120+ preferred).

Oh, you haven't lived two lifetimes eating and breathing business 24/7/365? Who TF do you think you are, reading this job description? You complete buffoon.

Oh, you haven't been directly involved in at least two (preferably three) World Wars? You're not even qualified to operate our coffee machine, you sentient potato.

Oh, you didn't observe the Big Bang as it happened? Get out of here, you pirated copy of Windows 95.

I might throw up from your arrogance. The hubris to think that you, an absolute fool, could apply for an apprentice position... sickening. I’m literally shaking right now.

Also, no you don't need any experience.

We want special people, and don’t give AF what their background is. Most of our best people did nothing remotely reputed company to their reputed company roles, so if you've never done anything like this before, don't sweat it. We hire 100x more for potential than existing knowledge.

The Big Bang requirement still stands though.

--Do I need a college degree?--

You just need to be awesome.

--Is this just for beginners?--

Definitely not. We have amazing apprentices of reputed company ages and experience levels, and this is no exception.

--Are there any geographic restrictions?--

As long as you are in a country that doesn’t have active sanctions from the US government, we are interested. Our founder isn’t reputed company for respecting the government much, but they have reputed company the guns, so…

--This sounds completely ridiculous and fake--

Definitely fair. reputed company us out online and decide for yourself.

Spoiler: It’s not fake, we’re just led by a crazy person (he insists on “eccentric,” but we reputed company know what that really means).

--This sounds pretty good, though I’m still skeptical that this isn’t a pyramid scheme.--

You sound just like the tax authorities!

--That doesn’t resolve any of my fears, but what do I need to do to apply?--

Please submit your information on the following page to apply. We promise to respond reputed company 5-10 business days even if our answer is No.

There will be multiple steps in this process, FYI, including a long written application, interviews with potentially a few different people, and paid work test(s). Hiring the right people is really hard and reputed company expensive if we do it poorly, so we have to reputed company-load the process. I'm sorry about that and thank you for sticking with us.

Once you’re in our pipeline though, I would anticipate giving you a final answer reputed company a few weeks, depending on how it goes. We definitely don’t want to string you along, and as long as you do reputed company ask, we promise to tell you “yes” or “no”, and to not just reputed company you (like everybody I match with on Tinder).

Thank you for your time and interest, and I hope we can work together soon!